

This post is the first and only one on this blog by me, John (the "J" in jcslocombe) and unlike Chantelle, I will be using capital letters. Last night, after listening to some really awesome music by Meaghan Smith, I was inspired to write some poetry of my own. Based on real events, here is my latest creation. I hope you enjoy it.
The Photographer's HusbandToday I will not shower. Yes, I think that I will reek.
There'll be crusties in my eyes, there'll be lettuce in my teeth.
I'll wear ten year-old pyjama pants, with two holes in the butt.
My shirt will be the oily one, I use to fix my truck.
I'll only shave one sideburn, and I'll leave my zits unpopped.
You'll see some dirty toenails, cuz I won't be wearing socks.
So why go to the trouble, just to make myself look bad?
Why would I want to look, and feel, and smell, like a dirtbag?
Because at times when I look fresh, and ready for the day,
and when my clothes are tidy, and my hair is combed and straight,
my wife, who's a photographer, will smell that I am clean.
She'll stare at me from head to toe, then happily proclaim:
"You will not spend this morning, checking things right off your list.
You won't be spending time on sports, or watching shows you missed.
You now are my possesion, for the next hour and a half.
You'll be working for the camera, as I take your photograph.
I'll tell you where to move your head, to make you look more thin.
The last thing that I want to see, is someone's double chin."
She'll make me pose by doorways, or crouch down into the grass.
She'll expose all my features, from behind the camera glass.
And though I'm just a normal Joe, who works a normal job,
my head shots are like models, and prints like a heart throb.
You'd see me on the street, and say I'm plain as plain can be.
But I'm a different person, in my wife's photography.
The way the background's fuzzy, while my face is crystal clear.
Or how she uses photoshop, so my moles disappear.
I really don't deserve, to look as handsome as I do.
I guess I can't complain, over an hour gone or two.
And maybe I won't sabotoge, my appearance, or my health.
Just to have a few more, fleeting moments to myself.
Besides, my wife is awesome, and she treats me like a king.
She always puts me first, whenever I need anything.
Today the little chores, and soccer scores, can all just wait.
Cuz look out world, I'm headed on another photo date.
John